So, due to the interest rate dropping, it was made possible for my husband and I to refinance our house. We were pretty excited as it would give us a couple extra hundred dollars to work with and we want to start saving for a vacation at some point since one of my best friends is getting married in the Dominican Republic in less than a year.
Yesterday we went to sign all the new documents and I noticed that all documents for my name were “Natalie husband’s last name”. I pointed it out to our title guy that my name is actually hyphenated and shows up as so on both my social security card and my driver’s license. The guy looked at me blankly. I repeated myself and added that I just wanted to make sure that it wouldn’t be a problem legally. He was like “But wasn’t your name something else when you bought the house.” “Yes I replied, we weren’t married when we bought the house, now we are, but I chose to hyphenate.” You would have thought I told him I chose to have a second head attached to my ass with the way he looked at me. That was when I realized, they never double checked what my name currently was, they just assumed, weren’t married before, married now, obviously I must have changed my name!
According to him, it wasn’t a legal problem as I just had to sign on another sheet of paper that I also have my name hyphenated but here’s the deal: What if it was? My husband and I both work ful time, me at least a half hour away and although I am salary I have to put in 40 hours a week so any long lunch I take is compensated for by my staying later. Was it really that hard to just double check on my social security card or just ask me? I didn’t make a big deal out of it because I wanted to get out of there but I also made sure I never once apologized when he was looking freaked out like he would have to do stuff over. It was not my fault, it was whoever that drew up the paperwork and made that assumption.
Just another little part of living in a world where heteronormative and patriarchal practices are considered the default.