Posted by: mzbitca | April 5, 2009

New Feature: FML FAIL

So, I’ve finally decided to add a reoccurring feature to the blog.  As a pop culture junkie I have a tendency to explore random internet sites like Post secret, overheard in the office, passive aggressive notes and, most recently, FML.

Most of the time, these are just fun diversions from writing serious posts or from working on my lectures.  However, there are times when submissions completely slap me across the face in a good or bad way.  I have titled it FML FAIL because I like Alliteration but it will consist of things I’ve discovered on a multitude of sites that either are uplifting or depressing for a feminist living in this world.

 

So, to start it off, from FML:

Today, my boyfriend of seven months dumped me because if he ‘ever wanted to get married’, he wants to ‘marry a virgin.‘ I lost my virginity to him. FML

Much like this other entry from FML,  the issue of virginity being so fucking important for females to be considered worthy is completely damaging.  All the onus is on the female.  They aren’t supposed to want sex, they aren’t supposed to give it up, and if they due the male has every right to discard them as damaged goods even if he pressured her or engaged in the same sexual act.  It reminds me of a part of Thomas’s section in “Yes Means Yes” when he discuses how women are referred to as “giving it up” and men are referred to as “getting some”.  The very framework we use to talk abut sexuality with females involves the women losing out, or becoming less by having sex, while the act just adds to the male.  

 

Other entries: here, here, and here.

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Responses

  1. This is a great feature. I have been known to peruse FML, and there have been a lot of time when I have to stop and wonder “WTF?” out loud.

    Another site that provides a lot of interesting subject matter is Xanga. It’s a personaly blogging community that I have been using for many many years, and whenever you go to the main page, you can find a lot of “interesting” topcs. Such as this, from a site that is always on the main page, called ManCouch http://www.mancouch.com/697793964/the-silent-treatment-guys-love-it/?ref=FPP.

    Ugh. There are just so many things that need to be accounted for when it comes to popular culture. Good work with this feature.

  2. *facepalm* Sounds like her ex wants to have his cake and eat it too.

  3. Do you read the comments on these FML entries? Some of them are fucking brutal. I know there are always jerks who just antagonize for no reason, but it’s infuriating how often there’ll be a consensus in the comments to the effect of “bitch deserved it.” One recent one was by a woman who was taking a nap and woke up to find her boyfriend trying to put his penis in her mouth. And there was a similar one where the boyfriend gave her sleeping pills, which she declined to use, and then started undressing her after she’d gone to sleep. She assumed he was waking her up and said, “That feels good,” and heard, “Oh, God — you’re awake?” To their credit, a lot of the commenters recognized that these were rape attempts, or at least called the guy’s behavior “sick” and “creepy” and told her to dump him — but there were plenty more saying how it’s different when you’re dating, or oh, he was just messing around, look at it from his point of view.

  4. I hate that on FML we can vote “i agree, your life is fucked” or “YOU DESERVED that one”

    Most of the time I feel that neither of these options are helpful or correct. Usually its just victim blaming. I want to vote “holy crap, i am really sorry that happened to you”

    • AJ. Yes, I am always so pissed that those are the voting options. They should definitely add yours.


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