I’m so sick of opinion articles in papers about domestic violence. They so often pay lip service to basic knowledge of domestic violence situations and then jump right back into the backhanded and subtle victim blaming. This article in the Chicago Sun Times is no different.
As is the case with other domestic violence tragedies, the children will be left orphans. These children will need years of counseling to overcome the burden their parents’ relationship has put on them.
To the women who are too caught up in their own violent relationship to see they are in danger, consider Irma Rodriguez.
Had she taken her stand years ago, it might have saved her life.
I am so sick of one woman’s tragic story being used as “lesson” for other women. It smacks of “see you stupid bitches, do something.” When she uses the term “caught up” she makes it seem like the women are all enraptured with their relationship and don’t notice that it could end in death. She also completely ignores the statistic that the most dangerous time for a woman in an abusive relationship is when she tries to leave. She also notes in her article that Irma had filed for divorce two years ago, yet she ends it as though her husband murdered her over dinner one night.
What happened to Irma was tragic, but to act like she could have just walked out the door and all the problems would be solved is ignorant and naive. It ignores the limited resources many women in abusive situations have. They have often been isolated from family and friends, threatened with death or injury to themselves and loved ones if they leave or call the police, and have been financially controlled by their abusive partners. It also, once again, puts the onus on the female to stop the situation. It is accepted that this man is abusive and so all she can do is leave but refuses to focus on the main point of any domestic violence situation. The abuser who is so invested in breaking down another human being both mentally and physically. Why are we not discussed the difficulty in enforcing protective orders. At this point they are nothing more than another thing woman are afraid of since they are hard to enforce and usually just result in a more vicious encounter. Also, many abusers have taken protective orders out on their victims as a form of mental abuse and to threaten them with the possiblity of arrest if they call the police or step out of line. Why are we not discussing that, in my state of Indiana, it is a felony to beat your dog but a misdemeanor to beat your wife.