Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for “not listening to what he wanted” and “being an overachiever”. FML
The comments just make this even sadder. They criticize her for changing her size to make a man happy yet shame her in the next second for either being too thin or too fat. The disconnect is staggering. What are they doing but commenting on a girls body that they have never seen and they wonder why she felt her worth in herself was based on another person’s view of her.
The fact is that the comments play out just another part of the dance that women deal with on a day to day basis. Anytime weight is mentioned it’s a free for all of shaming and inappropriate comments because once a woman mentions her body in some way it becomes free rein for discussion. Never mind that the focus should be that this guy felt that there was only one specific way that his girlfriend should look and anything other was unacceptable. Never mind what type of an abusive asshole that boyfriend must be and the analysis of what makes him like that. Everyone is always content to just call the male an “asshole” and dismiss his behavior and thoughts as just a fact of life while they continue to psycho analyze a women’s self worth and motivation behind losing weight.
It reminds me of why people enjoy correlational studies because it’s easier to focus and speculate on a result than it is to actually look out for a cause.