Posted by: mzbitca | August 4, 2009

Rape Culture: making paradoxes possible

A local man was just sentenced to twenty years in prison after being convicted of sexually assualting a (at the time) 13 year old girl for years.  This is as happy a story as can be expected since the damage is done and the girls he’s abused will have to live with the consequences of his actions for the rest of their lives.  We all know that many abusers do not do time behind bars and even if they do it is relatively little and at an enormous cost to the victims who must relive the experience through the trial.

Then I read the comments (I know right, what was I thinking?) .

I agree that the acts he committed were despicable, but he will also have to live with the shame and the guilt for what he did. Why did the girl let it go on for so long? A thirteen year old girl is old enough to know what is going on…perhaps she enjoyed the attention. She made the choice to be with him…she bartered her body. It is not as if he held her at gunpoint. She simply could have said “NO” and told her parents about it. My point is that none of us is in a position to pass judgment on anyone. And by the way, I am female.

I love the tagline: By the way,  I am female.  Yeah doesn’t matter you’re still a rape apologist asshole.  It’s just another example of a society that freaks out over teenagers having consensual sex because they can’t make their own decisions about their body but then turns around and finds any twisted way to make a 13 year old girl who was abused, manipulative and powerful and mature enough to be able extract herself from a traumatic situation involving an experienced predator.  

She later goes on to post about how her 13 year old daughter is smart enough to never let this happen to her.  Because of course it’s all about what the child does, not that they have the unlucky situation of being in contact with a predator that is grooming her.

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Responses

  1. *sigh*

    I know. Why read the comments, except that it keeps me grounded in reality.

    I just a few moments ago found this, via Shapely Prose, about why girls and women don’t fight back or sometimes just give in. It is because we are socially conditioned not to our whole lives (and I am not doing it justice. You have to read it).

  2. *smack forehead* *sigh*
    My mother was/is one of those ones that thought/thinks “My daughter is ‘smarter’ than that”. Which is one big reason why I never told.

    • {{{MeMyself&Who}}}

  3. I agree that the acts he committed were despicable, but he will also have to live with the shame and the guilt for what he did. Why did the girl let it go on for so long?

    Wait… she’s at fault because being raped might make her rapist feel guilty? WHAT?

  4. That rape apologist asshole should have to read MeMyself&Who’s comment.

  5. “My point is that none of us is in a position to pass judgment on anyone.”

    Well, except for 13-year-old rape victims. We can pass judgment on them. But definitely not on rapists.


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